


The Internal Dialogue of Artur the Raven

by BeeBoozle



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Artur is a little shit, Awkward Flirting, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gratuitous amounts of swearing from Hound because they're a gay mess, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25172464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeBoozle/pseuds/BeeBoozle
Summary: An adventure in the mind of our favorite hunter's raven... yea I don't know what this is either. It's gonna be funny tho with some Miragehound in it so those of you who want that, buckle your seatbelts.
Relationships: Bloodhound/Mirage | Elliott Witt
Comments: 11
Kudos: 46





	1. Morning Time is Screaming Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skerryB](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skerryB/gifts), [kittymsmith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittymsmith/gifts), [iisrafel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iisrafel/gifts).



> No I wasn't high when I wrote this. I blame the Legends of the Outlands discord server for encouraging this. But here it is, enjoy.

Food time was Artur's favorite time of the day, and as the sun barely rose over the horizon Artur awoke from his sleep from his owner's folded up hunting jacket, excited for breakfast and the love from his owner afterwards before they themselves ate and got ready for the day.

But as the bird started to stand and look to the back door, he noticed Hound wasn't out there tending to their garden like they usual do at this time of day. Their bedroom door was open and loud snoring came from the hunter, who was sleeping way later than they usually would.

_'Is morning time.' thought Artur. 'Time for food. Time for love from parent. Why parent not awake?'_

The raven waited patiently, listening for the sounds of Hound waking up and coming to the living room, where Artur was waiting on the arm of their couch. Half an hour passed.

 _'Parent is usually awake. Is late for food time and affection.'_ Artur cawed once to try to rouse Hound up, notifying them of the the hungry bird that they owned. When there was no response, Artur ruffled.

_'Will scream for food. If parent does not come now I scream.'_

The raven gave his owner one more chance to peacefully get up for breakfast and morning scratches before he took things into his hands-er-talons.

All Artur could hear was a shuffling of sheets as Hound shifted in their sleep.

**_'I SCREAM FOR FOOD NOW!'_ **

With an unearthly screech, Artur spread his wings and flew into his owner's room. Landing on the headboard, he began to mimic the drop-ship siren that he hears every time he and Hound go to slatra. Surely that would wake them up.

_'PARENT. WAKE UP. IS TIME FOR FOOD. AND AFFECTION. WANT BOTH. **WAKE UP!'**_

It only takes a couple seconds for Hound to wake up with a grimace, stretching themselves awake before gently clamping Artur's beak shut.

"Alright that's enough, plága minn" They look at the clock on the other side of their room. "I am only half an hour late, you menace" Hound sticks their tongue out at their raven, who caws back as if to say _'too long'_

With a click of their tongue, the hunter signals Artur to come sit on their shoulder before making their way to the back door to the small garden they owned. Artur quickly flew to his perch with a bowl fastened in front of it. He gurgled happily at the sight of Hound getting his usual breakfast of mole crickets and chopped up mice meat from the ice chest in the shed.

_'Finally. Food time. Am starving. Look, am wasting away. Nothing but bone'_

Hound laughed at the bird's eagerness "Patience, felagi. Never have I met someone as greedy for food as you." Scooping up the bird's breakfast, they watch as Artur scarfs it down like a starving man. "You are going to choke again if you do not slow down.'

Artur croaked, sounding petulant as he finished his breakfast and flew to his owner's shoulder to be loved on. Hound obliged, stroking the feathers on his chest and cooing at their bird. The leaves rustling in the early morning wind, the smell of Hound's lavender in their garden, and the happy croaks of a spoiled raven were the perfect start to both Hound and Artur's morning.

 _'Am happy. Parent love me. Will love parent forever'_ Artur used his beak to affectionately tug on a piece of Hound's hair that hung in front of their face and softly nip at the fingers scratching his chest and head.

Yes, food time was Artur's favorite part of the day


	2. Artur Attacks!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A misunderstanding between hunter and raven causes tension between squadmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to iisrafel for giving me the inspo to write this chapter and to proofread some sections <3  
> Also I plan to post a chapter every Friday/Saturday. If more people are interested, I'll have a stricter schedule for this fic  
> Hope y'all enjoy :3

Hound and Artur were some of the last people on the dropship when they finally arrived. Artur just had to scrounge around the whole house trying to find any leftover food or treats to scarf down before Hound came out of their room ready to leave. 

Hound taught Artur from an early age that it wasn't okay to open jars or rip open bags to get food. And Artur followed that rule to a T. However, his owner said nothing about food lying around on the counters of the kitchen or wherever else they left out accidentally.   
And unfortunately today this involved Hound spending 15 minutes trying to wrestle a huge portabella mushroom out of their raven's mouth, cursing him out all the while.

Flying into their room in the dropship, Artur made his usual way to his cage and waited for Hound to close the door. Artur didn't like being free in the room when the dropship was in the air, not feeling safe on his feet when the ship when through its' usual turbulence to either map of the Arena.

_'Parent need cage closed. Do not like the big shakes from metal bird.'_ he squawked at Hound, who was busy organizing their belongings that they brought with them onto the small desk in their dorm. 

"Just a moment, Artur." They responded with a wave of their hand. Making sure everything was in its' proper place, they walked over to Artur. "Such an impatient bird you are."

Before they could close the door to the cage, a knock on the door sounded, startling both hunter and raven, who croaked angrily at the scare. They both heard Elliott-or Mirage as he went by in the Arena-call out:  
"Hey Houndie! Sorry, didn't mean to scare your bird. Mind if I come in? Wanna talk about some strategy from today's match."

Artur noticed his owner's sudden shift in posture, straightening their spine and clearing their throat before responding "Yes, come in Mirage. The door should be open."

True to their word, in walked the trickster, a smile on his face and a hand raking through his curly brown hair. Artur saw he had something in his right hip pocket, judging by the rustling it made as he strolled up to Hound.

"Hey there! Uh-again, sorry for freaking out your bird. I just wanted to be corn-co-cord-polite when I came in. Didn't wanna barge in suddenly, what if you were like naked or something?" The confidence Elliott exuded faltered as he started to stutter and backtrack his sentence, flusteredly explaining that he didn't mean to say naked.

Artur noticed Hound's shoulders shuddering and muffled sounds, like they were trying to stifle something. _'Strange'_ the bird thought _'Parent is shaking. Is parent afraid? Are they scared of trick man? Do they cry with fear? Don't worry parent! Will protect! Will not let trick man scare parent!'_

With a caw, Artur jumped out his cage and flew over to the edge of his desk where Elliott was leaning on. Quickly acting, the raven bit the trickster's pointer finger with an angry gurgle.

"Ow!" 

"Artur!"

Artur felt his owner's hands around his wings, pinning him effectively and bringing the bird to eye (or goggle) level to Hound. Artur could see in his peripheral that Elliott had his finger in his mouth and was sucking to stop the small bloodflow coming out of the cut that the bird made. 

_'What you get for scaring parent!'_ Artur let out a croak of victory before being lightly shook and scolded by Hound.

"Bad raven! We do not bite _vinir_ , _óþekkur fugl_." they walked over to the cage and set Artur on his perch, quickly shutting and locking the door before turning to Elliott.

"My apologies. I don't know what came over him. Are you alright, Mirage?"

Elliott waved them off with his other hand, taking his finger out of his mouth "Nah it's okay! I guess that was the little guy's revenge for spookin' him" He let out a nervous chuckle " I-uh-heh-I just hope he doesn't hold a grudge. We are gonna be on a team today."

Artur fluffed in feathers in anger _'Do not want to slatra with trick man. Trick man scares parent. Will not let him scare parent!'_

"If he does not behave, he will not get to participate in the Arena" Hound shot a goggled glare at the cage that Artur couldn't see. He was confused. Why did the hunter scold him for attacking? He was just trying to protect them.

_'Will keep eye on trick man. He will not hurt parent. Will see what intentions trick man has'  
_

Artur calmly waited in his cage, plan ruminating in his head as the dropship alarm sounded for the Legends to gather to the platforms where they would decend and look for places to drop on the map.

It was time for slatra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artur calls Elliott 'trick man' and nothing more. He has nicknames for every Legend, if you want to find out leave a comment ;3

**Author's Note:**

> If y'all want more of this fuckery, be sure to stay tuned. I have a shit ton of ideas I wanna write out. Lemme know what you thought of the fic in the comments and I hope ya'll have a good day!


End file.
